Tuesday, July 22, 2014

F#$K it all

I can't do this anymore. Is anybody else just wondering what the point is? I work hard and get told that I don't take responsibilty for my kids. If I don't work then I am a lazy stay at home Mom. I earn money but because I have children and my husband has a job I should rather stay at home with the kids and beg money from him. You can't win. Things will be changing in our lives soon and suddenly the guilt is being thrown with far more force. So should I stay home, lose my mind and resent my kids to make the few happy or should I go to work, make myself happy but have to deal with the snide remarks. I feel like all I do with my day is work when I can, have guilt thrown at me, yell at my kids, resent my husband, fight with my husband, worry about money, worry about my weight and wonder how this is my life. Fucking middle class issues I know but today I really just can't deal with it. I am the person who went for a packet of smokes and never came home... in another life.. maybe. Today I am just tired of it all.
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2 comments:

  1. AlexandraJuly 24, 2014 at 1:19 AM

    I think all mothers have moments, days, weeks, years like this. I believe it comes from not being true to ourselves.

    An ambitious career minded friend of mine was once told by her psychologist that if she were to stay home with her children she would end up resenting them resulting in a toxic environment for all involved. I've always kept this in mind because I don't think I would have been a very good SAHM.

    So be true to yourself, do what is right for you and to hell with what everyone else thinks! If you are happy then your family will be too (after adjusting to the change).

    Good Luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AlexandraAugust 7, 2014 at 12:57 AM

    You are not alone:
    http://zenarchery.com/2014/08/everyone-i-know-is-brokenhearted/

    ReplyDelete

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