Friday, August 30, 2013

Reality Check

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in our lounge feeding Zoey and relaxing. Our gate intercom and I glanced out the window to see a light coloured Kia Picanto. I assumed it was my SIL Becks so I opened the gate and went to the door. Zoey was in my arms cuddled up to me.  As I opened the door I saw that it was a white not silver car and that it had GP plates. There was a large black man getting out of the car and his three companions were busy opening there doors.

I slammed the door shut and ran with Zoey to me bedroom. I couldn't remember in my fear how to activate the panic button on the keypad so I armed the alarm and left Zoey on the bed. I ran through the house setting off the alarm and pushed the lounge panic several times.

Luckily the alarm scared them away and by the time reaction arrived they had skipped town.

I had nightmares all night about what might have been.

Andrew has told me I did everything right after my mistake of opening the gate but I still feel guilt that I put our daughters life in danger.

I was feeling safe in my little world but yesterday really brought home the reality of what happens to so many people in this country.

We were lucky but I am still shaking and looking everywhere for that white car.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Farewell old friend

Today has been a day filled with bursting into tears. My darling dog Mcduff(Duffy) had to be put down. He had made almost fifteen years and I do understand that he really did have a long life.

Duffy was the spaniel-mongrel that I got as a teenager. He was my first dog and I adored him.I got him from the local pet store as a squirming little puppy because he was the dog that fell in his food bowl.Clumsy from the very first day.

I used to carry him around under my school jersey in the afternoon to keep him warm. He slept on the floor next to me in a little white shawl while I studied for exams.

He travelled with us to our beach cottage on the South Coast. That was a disaster of a trip. Duffy was terrified of the sea and hated the sand in his fur.

The next year my Grandfather moved in with us and Duffy decided that he was the next best thing when I was away at school. They went for long walks together everyday. Sometimes they got completely lost. This was a frequent occurence as my Grandfather became more senile with the passing years.

The year I spent in Oz my Mother had to send frequent updates and photos to let me know what my beloved Duffy was doing.

Six months after my return my Grandfather died and Duffy's walking partner was gone. My Mom took over but I think Duff thought things were never the same.

Two years later he was attacked by a Rottweiler while out walking. He survived with minor injuries but he shook with fear if you even showed him the lead so he never went walkies again.

He was a sweet old dog when my son was born and put up with everything Ewan did to him when he visited my parents.

However last year he started getting really old. He was in pain. If you went near him he would bite and growl. My parents didn't put him down as they knew it would upset me. Somedays he would be full of life and run around the garden at high speed but others he spent in his room all day.

In two weeks time my sister in law is arriving from overseas and she is 22 weeks pregnant. My folks can't take the risk of Duffy biting her. Lately he has being going for Ewan and it was just a matter of weeks till he really hurt my little boy. Sadly Zoey has never been allowed near him.

It was his time. He was given a sedative and then taken to the vets to be put downon Friday. He didn't suffer at all. My Dad buried him in the back garden next to all the plants he loved to dig  up. My Mom only told me today as she didn't want me crying in front of Ewan the whole weekend. Soon I will have to explain death to my boy when he asks about Duffy.

Until I picked up that puppy in the pet shop I was terrified of dogs and animals in general. Duffy changed all that.

Today all I can think about is the past and my sweet little puppy.

Farewell McDuff and enjoy your walks with Grandpa.

Monday, August 5, 2013

AWOL

The past few weeks I have really ducked out of life. I have spent my days cuddling and feeding Zoey. A few hours work but mostly just baby watching. They really are incredible time wasters.

I thought today would be the perfect day to go back to reality. Zoey will be 9 weeks old on Wednesday. She is much easier to handle and willing to spend time on her play which frees my hands.

So to celebrate little miss has picked up her brothers cold and hardly slept last night. Poor little mite. So most of todays plans are out the window.She still smiles though, in between coughing fits and snot, she really is a tough little one.



Happily my photo upload is working again. Isn't he the cutest big brother. Ewan really does seem to adore her.

Right now it's time for a very strong cup of coffee.