Going downhill

Life is a bit crazy at the moment. I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. Things will be really positive for a few days and then we get knocked back by another let down or failed promise. Today I am trying to be happy but I just feel like crying. The move is a good thing and there is no going back now. I want to do this but at the same time it would all be so much easier if we stayed. We are giving up owning a home and renting a flat. My job as a freelancer is always a little but unsure but now things are unsure for A as well. What if I am the main earner next year? There is a big possibility that I will be for a few months and it terrifies me. I am trying to source all the work I can get. Life would be so much easier if we stayed but that would be going backwards and its time for us to make a giant leap forward. Things will get better. They have to:) On a brighter note we had an awesome holiday in St.Lucia. The weather wasn't always great but we spent hours in the pool and jacuzzi. On Wednesday we drove through to Crawford for E to attend their welcome to the school day. We spent an hour there and E had a blast. He made new friends and played with the mountain of toys in the playground. He painted a bear in the arts classroom and made a crown for himself and one for Z. Watching him on Wednesday made it clear that we have made the right choice sending him there. He will thrive. I just need to keep thinking of the positives and not drown in all the fear.

Everything changes

The whole of our small town knows as of today so I may as well tell the blogging world. We are taking a massive risk and packing our bags for a better life. A + I have not been happy here for many years and we spend our lives travelling to the place that does make us happy. We had a few big plans in place but they all fell through and one day A said that it was time to stop existing and to start living. If we don't go now we will never make the leap and we will be stuck here for the rest of our lives. So without all the plans and backup we are taking this leap on our own. In just a few weeks we are moving to Ballito and I can't wait. E is booked into Crawford College, a school that will really allow him to grow and be the best he can be. That school was a huge factor in our choice to move. I need to be in a more inspired place for my work and what could be better than the beach. A will get to explore so many options in his career and to push himself further. We will get to live a far healthier way of life. Walks on the beach with the kids,cycling on the Durban beachfront and hours playing in the sunshine. I am looking forward to getting back to Virgin Active. I have missed having a proper gym. This is the best choice for us but it is still filled with fear and uncertainty. We will go from owning a house to renting one as we build up the cash towards the far higher cost of a home in Ballito. That scares me but I know we have to do it. Life has been the same for so long that the thought of change is enough to bring on a 3 week (I am not kidding) cold that will not go away and some serious neck pain.