Going downhill

Life is a bit crazy at the moment. I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. Things will be really positive for a few days and then we get knocked back by another let down or failed promise. Today I am trying to be happy but I just feel like crying. The move is a good thing and there is no going back now. I want to do this but at the same time it would all be so much easier if we stayed. We are giving up owning a home and renting a flat. My job as a freelancer is always a little but unsure but now things are unsure for A as well. What if I am the main earner next year? There is a big possibility that I will be for a few months and it terrifies me. I am trying to source all the work I can get. Life would be so much easier if we stayed but that would be going backwards and its time for us to make a giant leap forward. Things will get better. They have to:) On a brighter note we had an awesome holiday in St.Lucia. The weather wasn't always great but we spent hours in the pool and jacuzzi. On Wednesday we drove through to Crawford for E to attend their welcome to the school day. We spent an hour there and E had a blast. He made new friends and played with the mountain of toys in the playground. He painted a bear in the arts classroom and made a crown for himself and one for Z. Watching him on Wednesday made it clear that we have made the right choice sending him there. He will thrive. I just need to keep thinking of the positives and not drown in all the fear.